Monday, February 28, 2005

im a mess...

i think im blowing it off wid d person whom iv got a chance of having a great relationship with...because of these paranoia, im driving him away...iv got serious issues within me..sbi nga ng frend ko i keep on reliving my past! damn! ano sasabihin ko sa kanya? is there any better way of asking someone if sure na sya other than un na nga "SURE KA BA?" eh un lng naman un pde kong itanong eh...un nga lang paulit ulit kong tinatanong kaya ayon napraning lolo mo... at nakapagbitaw ng mga salitang mdyo may point sya... eh sa lahat ng yon eh nagawa na rin ng taong nanakit sakin dati... oo walang kasiguruhan ang isang relasyon pro labis pa rin ang takot ko...eh kung ganun bkit ko pa dpat ituloy? i know nasaktan ko sya pro nde ko sinasadya...sadya lng tlgang immature ako at sige na nga may sira sa ulo... ayokong mawala sya pero eto ko ngaun tinutulak sya papalayo... 'wiset! nde ko na alam... bkit ba mahirap skin magtiwala sa tao... sbi ko naman nde ako nagdududa sa pagkatao nya, alam kong tapat at maginoo sya...ang takot ko eh un tipong magising sya isang umaga at marealize na la na pala syang feelings for me..un lng naman takot ko eh...un mafol out of love sya...iv been to both sides of the fence already i know it's both hard being in the situation...pro pucha ibang intensity nito ngaun... sobrang mahal ko tong taong to... pro ano gagawin ko?!!!!!

natanong pa tuloy nya ko kung ano b tlga standards ko... napressure daw lalo sya at alam naman daw nyang may kulang pa sa effort nya... ngaun tuloy bawat sasabihin nya may karugtong nang "kung maniniwala ka..." or "beliv it or not..." and dis is a gud question... bkit nga ba ako parating takot sa kanila o sa maaaring mangyari, bakit nga b nde sarili ko un baguhin ko... hmmm

3 Comments:

Blogger periwinkle --- twelvefifteen said...

we always relate our FUTURE to our PRESENT, most specially to our PASTS. but who's to blame? "I'm only human, of flesh and blood i'm made.. Human, born to make mistakes."

dear. i know how it feels.. reality bites, and it bites hard.

pray lang and learn to embrace courage. you will get by.. i know so.

cheer up. blessed be.

6:32 AM, February 28, 2005  
Blogger BitterCaramel said...

thanks for those kind words... yep im only human heheheh (nice song by the way)... i juz hope that i'll be able to move on and eventually deal with my present

5:04 PM, February 28, 2005  
Blogger bong said...

i know you would get by camel.
in time camel. in time...

just the same with me.
i'll get by...
we'll get by...

how fortunate and unfortunate of us.

c'est la vie!

4:28 AM, April 25, 2005  

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