Tuesday, February 08, 2005

down the memory lane...

here i am again...on a dreamy mood...juz yesterday i tokd to my bestfrend(KAT)...we were warped back to our freshman years n college..we talked about who had a crush on who and who courted who..i really miss her (KAT), i never get to see her anymore since she's already in jersey..yeah i know, i should have spent more time wid her when she was still here..nevertheless she's still my bestfrend! she brought back to my memory the past i had wd my first love... arrrrgh! this may be a cliche but a fact...FIRST LOVE NEVER DIES... upon recalling the sweetest thing that he did for me, i felt a prick in my heart... everything came back to me as if it only happened a year ago...

a sunny Sunday afternoon...my mom attending to her plants at our front yard...i was upstairs in the living room forcing myself not to think of him (we were going steady then...he went to baguio for a week...), in short i was killing time till he arrives...(i really don't hav any idea wat time he'll be arriving or if i'll ever get to see him dat day) wen my thoughts were disturbed by a shout from downstairs...t'was my mom yelling out my name and asking me to go down...being a stubborn daughter, i yelled back "im doing something"...she yelled again, this time the tone of her voice more stern which made me do as she instructed...(she asked me to dress up in decent clothes as i was wearing my pyjamas)...a few minutes passed n i was on my way down...our front yard faces a flight of stairs connected to our house..as i emerged out of the door into the first step of the stairs which was an extension of the stairs to our house, i froze... there he was... at the end of the stairs... with his right hand behind his back... f u could juz imagine my joy! i would have hugged and kissed him if only my mom wasn't watching hahahah..."corny" u might say..aye? corny it may seem but to someone who's so inlove...wt does being corny mean? i mean when ur inlove...i mean truly deeply madly inlove...everything seems right...and yes he was my first...love - that is.. heheh

now i know the root cause of my whining...iv been grumpy all these years coz im still hang up not particularly with my ex but the feelings i've had for him...he was d only guy i loved who didn't love me in return...not the love that was due...not the love that was to be given to a partner...all that he could offer was friendship...i was aware of it..but did it bother me? nooooh..i loved him not because he loves me but because i simply do...

i can't find dat now...that feeling not having to look for something in return...i gez the pain was juz to traumatic that i don't want to fall into the same pit again..No regrets...as far as im concerned he's one of the best things that happened to me... i still believe n destiny and once i find it, i'll look bak to that day and thank him :)

something to ponder this valentine's day;

FATE BUILDS BRIDGE OF CHANCES FOR THE ONES WE LOVE...
from My Sassy Girl
u guys really ought to watch this film...for Love's sake!

2 Comments:

Blogger JERSEYGIRLONTHEHOOD said...

bes sorry i mmade you feel bad. pro its nice having a quick walk down in memory lane right. everything happens for a reason. ika nga sa favorite qoute natin "its not always what it seems". just keep on praying.. the right guy is just around the corner.. i miss u so much. Thanks for programming ng blogger.. hehhe.. luv u

7:53 PM, February 09, 2005  
Blogger BitterCaramel said...

bes...no worries about this/.am sad coz i miss the people the feeling and everything about it pro po happy in a way dhel naexperience ko sya...n miss you too mwah...

5:26 PM, February 10, 2005  

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